Those of you who regularly listen to my radio show know that I’m very fond of using the phrase, “The first true altruist I meet will be the first true altruist I meet.”
I say this because I tend to be guided by the words of one of my 1970’s mentors, (when I was in my early 20s), Mr. Robert J. Ringer. Ringer, some of you may recall, wrote the best seller, “Winning through Intimidation.” He then wrote one of my all-time favorite books, “Looking Out for #1” just a couple of years later.
In each of his books, Ringer preaches his core philosophies about people, clearly his favorite subject. Here is one of his key people precepts --- one that I personally adopted, and in fact have “lived”, since about 1975:
“The world divides into three kinds of people: Types 1, 2, and 3. A Type 1 is someone who is always out for his/her own best interests, and then lets you know this, right up front. (Ringer then goes on to suggest that a “Type 1” is the ONLY type of individual one should seek out and deal with in any business transaction.) A “Type 2” is someone who is always out for his/her own best interests, but wants you to THINK that he/she is instead looking out for YOUR best interests. (Ringer calls this particular Type a “con artist,” warning everyone to both beware and stay clear.)
Finally, Ringer defines a “Type 3” as someone who is always out for his/her own best interests, but has somehow convinced her or himself that he/she is actually out for YOUR best interests!” (I believe Ringer calls these types Liberal Democrats…but that’s his definition, not mine!)
Whatever. I’m certain that you get the point.
So Robert J. Ringer would have us believe, just as I believe, that “All of the people are always looking out for their own best interests all of the time.
I can buy this. I can buy it because my 60 years on earth have relentlessly taught me that, and here it comes again, “the first true altruist I meet will be the first true altruist I meet.”
But every time this philosophy begins to harden itself right into my very soul, something like what happened to me just this morning goes and happens. So please let me explain.
Earlier today (I’m writing this on Tuesday, November 3 --- Election Day), I attended what used to be called a “PTA” meeting with my wife and the two teachers responsible for formally educating my two children. My kids are eight and ten, and I’m very proud to tell you that they are right now both excelling at their studies.
And so as I walked out of my daughter’s classroom and into the hallway of her “K through 2” school building, I glanced to my left to see what must have been more than 100, 8-1/2’ x 11” sheets of tablet paper, each containing a brief narrative about one of that students’ relatives. They were on display because (I’m certain) Veteran’s Day is approaching, and each one of these sheets of paper contained a half-dozen kid-written sentences that described, in heart-warming simplicity, that relative’s military service to his country.
Now even though I was hard-pressed for time (it seems as if the last time I wasn’t hard-pressed for time was way back when I was taking my own military draft physical!), I just had to stop a while and read these kids’ narratives. “What the heck,” I thought to myself, “These guys gave the best years of their lives to the country that’s been so very good to me --- the least I can do on election day is honor them by taking the time to read their bios.”
My heart both soared and plummeted as I read these remarkable stories, every single one of them written by their own sons, daughters, and grand-kids. And while these second-graders may have used simple pencils and crayons to create each testimonial to their beloved “pap-paps”, the net emotional effect on me was devastating. Each letter provided the gut-level impact of a Pugil stick as I silently read it. Some of the kids had included actual photos of their uncles, grandfathers, and dads. Some rendered the likeness by hand. Others included photocopies of newspaper articles from the 1940’s or 1960’s; most of these articles were either citations for heroism and bravery or obituaries.
My eye stopped at a letter from an eight year old whose parents had granted permission to the youngster such that he had attached his relative’s medals to the letter. Imagine that! The perfect love between a grandfather and grandchild actually resulted in the elder trusting the eight-year-old with his coveted Bronze Star. (Or could it be that the “Vet” cared far less about that medal than he did his little buddy?)
It all made me think so deeply. I said to my wife, “Karen, you’ll have to give me another minute.” And so I just kept on reading. I was fascinated by one child’s reference to Iwo Jima as “just a ‘spec’ (sic) in the Pacific Ocean. This boy had even fashioned up a crude map of the South Pacific … with a hand-crafted arrow directing readers to the black pile of volcanic dust that had claimed so many American casualties.
I’m now (once again) re-investigating my feelings about altruists. Why? Because who, but an altruist would willfully offer up their own life so that a comrade-in-arms might live? Or perhaps as a service to a beloved country?
Yes, I’m well aware of the “kill or be killed” code of combat. And I’ve spoken to enough of my own peers to know that a person can get mighty angry and mighty vindictive whenever he realizes that the other guy just pointed a gun at him with the intent to kill.
But what do we make of the soldier who falls on a grenade in a rational effort to trade it for four or five of his friends’ lives? How should we regard this man? A “type One”, perhaps? Maybe a Type Three?
And what about the quiet kid from some unheard of Iowa town who loses a leg after deciding to “go first” through a mine field? What drives this man’s behavior besides altruism?
So maybe Mr. Ringer’s “Type Three’s” shouldn’t be dismissed as loonie-tuned losers who somewhere along the line drank the Kool-Aid of “Squarehood” and should therefore be regarded as nothing more than amusing sideshow characters?
Maybe instead we need to find ways to create more people of this “Type”, because as much as I do want to deal with Type One’s and want to avoid Type Two’s, I just don’t know if this world could continue spinning without some guys who maybe do have themselves fooled into thinking that they are out for YOUR best interests but who nonetheless are absolutely critical to the overall plan? Whoever’s plan that may be!
Ouch!
Now my head hurts.
The overall irony of my having read all of these just amazing letters and narratives on Election Day was not lost. It wasn’t more than 45 minutes later that I walked into my local municipal building to pull a lever that I either had to push right then or else forfeit altogether my right to do so.
And thus I thought to myself while standing at that voting machine, “What an amazing system, a system that has held up pretty much in the same form for almost 250 years!” And a system that all “Types” are free to employ, be they One’s, Two’s or Three’s! I next found myself silently praying that I would be around to experience that 250th birthday.
Yes, there are a lot of things wrong with our system and so we’ve got a whole bunch of work to do (starting with reinstituting --- in some places and cases --- the very practice of entrepreneurism) before we can get this ship fully righted.
But so long as we have men and women of integrity and honor, people who will sacrifice for the greater good, I have to believe that most everything will turn out just fine.
Finally, I hope that you will please join me in honoring our veterans and current military personnel as we conduct our eleventh annual Veteran’s Day show from 9:00 AM until noon on Saturday, November 13, 2010.
10 Comments
eddie grimes
there are three: me first , last and always.
we all know those people . there is nothing phoney about them . they are who they are.
Two : let me help you while I help myself.
that is most people . nobody does anything for nothing.
Three: the phoney. no need to explain. Everyone knows a phoney. if they dont they are fooling themself. a phoney is someone to pertend to be someone else. they are not good at it and if they are they are still a phoney
carmen dawson
I personally feel there are more personality types. I come from a family of social workers. I by nature always put others first and often loose myself in others hopes and dreams. When I am not supporting others I do not feel complete. So I will take the three types concept to heart and test it.
Jim Tudor
Great article Ron. I always look forward to the Vetran’s Day program. Ask those who recieved purple hearts bronze and silver stars what they did to get the medals and thy will almost always tell you, “nothing special I just stayed alive”. In my opinion stars for bravery and heroism should also be given to the Dr.s and nurses who saved many lives. Please take a few moments on the Vetran’s Day show to honor the nurses and other ladies who saved and salvaged the lives of the wounded.Women’s sacrifices are most often forgotten.Armed Forces nurses may be the altruists you haven’t seen.
Josh Bulloc
I have an interesting take on selfishness. When I am serving others I get a good feeling and I enjoy that feeling. I believe this makes me selfish because I get a benefit from it. I think the problem is that many people look at short term selfishness which leads to taking advantage of people for money. If you were interested in long term selfishness you would find a way create a relationship with someone and serve them for the rest of your life because of the joy you receive from it.
Josh Bulloc
Kansas City, MO
How can I help?
"FOBG"
Ron My knee jerk reaction was the large cynical part of my brain wants to 100% agree with Ringer, another part of me harks back to what my parents and grandparents taught me and what I think all parents desperately hope they can teach their own children.
Some things you do because its the “right thing to Do”.
Why do you(the pejorative you) honor the veterans and the sacrifices they have made…“its the right thing to do”
Why do you help those who are less fortunate(monetarily, physically or mentally less fortunate)than you….“its the right thing to do”
Why do you respect others and treat them as you would like to be treated ......“its the right thing to do”
Why do you vote…. “its the right thing to do”
Why do you do your best and never quit regardless of the task or the score…... “Its the right thing to do”
Why do people labor for 40 years in anonymity to provide for their families instead of taking government assistance….“its the right thing to do”
In business why do you treat your customers, and employees with honesty, reliability and integrity…..
“Its the right thing to do”
I realize what is “right ” and what is truth have been debated for eons and will never be resolved. But my naive bald head still believes there are people who do things because “it is the right thing to do” and I try to find those people and make them my customers,my employees,my colleagues,my associattes and most of all my friends
Why do I listen to TAE…..........
Bob Boyle
Hi Ron,
Just read your article and really enjoyed it. Your thoughts ring true.
I’m scheduled to be on your show again next Thursday the actual Veterans Day. How can we be anything but thankful for the country we live in and thankful for all those who have served.
Bob Boyle
J. A. Sauer, Co.
Ernie Romanco
Yes Ron - You are wrong……….so wrong
As I commented before, you live in a narrow world where those 3 types you listed are indeed the majority of those you will meet. And sadly, those who you might meet who are not one of those types will be assigned to be one of them because this is all you are normally exposed to. And this exposure over such a long time in your world will not even let you see further.
In the world of business I have met each of those types, but in my world of people I meet those who are concerned with everyone. For the betterment, uplifting, freedom, well being and joy of others. I am not talking of “crusaders” , I am talking of those quiet people whose thoughts, and actions, have immense power, to change the world, and so people, even the types you have associated with for so long also may come to change. And that, my friend must then…change you.
I was once on your show and explained how I’ve opened Pandora’s box for the
insurance, safety and liability issues, to the extent that it could get me “harmed”.
Will I make some money, absolutely, but I could have done that without the notoriety and danger I’ve called down. But, the world will be better and safer for all. Even though for this to be “successful” will take much longer.
There are multitudes of people out there who will never fit into your types and they are the ones really changing the world, not just making companies that want to keep it the same. The ones I want to live next to. The ones who will always be there when needed, without even any thought or hesitation of why…they just are.
As for voting, yes, by all means vote. But is it not sad we have let the whole process of nominations of who runs, ( who has the money and media backing ) degrade into the basic fact we no longer vote for that honest person who is truly representing the people, but unfortunately ….for the lesser of two evils
....who invaribly cares only for themself.
Travis
Great article as usual. My grandfather flew in a B-24 bomber in China during WW2. He was shot down and survived thankfully. He also made sure he took his parachute with him for fear the Japanese would discover it and burn down the nearest Chinese village (Our family still has the parachute). Often times, he would volunteer to go on missions with other crews at the last minute even though these missions didn’t count against his official total.
Throughout history, our veterans/nurses/doctors have performed millions of untold selfless acts while in horrible conditions. Looking forward to another show in which you honor these sacrifices.
Robert W. Fink
Yes….and on “righting the ship:”.....how do we make the world safe for entrepreneurs?
Because if we don’t, then all of the books, lectures, podcasts and stories of titans who built industries….will only serve some way-off future species that may find itself in possession of the knowledge along with the curiosity to test it and put it to use.
Bruce Smith
Ron, as a vet and an entreprenuer you are correct. We need to create an enviroment that protects entreprenuers, not try to punish then at every turn! I also voted and maybe the country has begun to right the wrongs we created in the last presidential election. We need to be diligent and keep the pressure on the newly elected govenor and state reps. Then we can concentrate on our newly elected federal officials. Obama care is an obamanation and needs to be repealed. As a resident of Bethel Park with two children in the system I have had enough of winey union teachers (85000.00) a year complaining about $300.00 a year for health care> I personally pay about $400.00 a month and that is through a group plan. I have yanked my child from the school system and enrolled them in Pacyber school (entrepuneral in nature)! Boy did this go all over the place. Thank you for honoring our vets including me.